Supporting a loved one who’s struggling with addiction is one of the most loving, compassionate acts you can do. However, it’s important to set boundaries for yourself. Broken trust can hurt relationships, codependency can enable addiction, and neglecting your own well-being can lead to burnout. Setting boundaries can help you maintain healthy relationships and take care of yourself.
What Are Boundaries?
Boundaries are limits that help define your values and guide how you interact with others. They communicate what is acceptable behavior to yourself and others.
If you’re helping someone who’s struggling with addiction, boundaries can help remind both of you that you each have the right to make choices about your lives. They serve as guidelines you can come back to when emotions run high, when you feel pressured, or when you’re not sure what to do next.
Always ensure your loved one consents to the support you provide and respects their autonomy in their recovery journey.
7 Helpful Boundaries in Addiction Recovery
Encouraging your loved one to seek help for drug or alcohol addiction isn’t always straightforward. They may struggle with denial, shame, or fear. Use the outline below to develop boundaries that can guide you through tough conversations and challenging situations.
1. Communicate What You’re Willing and Able to Do
Are you comfortable helping with childcare? Being a listening ear at any time of day or night? It’s important to clearly communicate what you’re able and willing to do for your loved one. This way, they know what resources are available to them and you don’t end up feeling overwhelmed or resentful.
2. Express Love and Concern for Your Loved One, but Don’t Preach
When talking to your loved one about their addiction, it’s important to approach the conversation with care and compassion. Express your love for them and your concern for their well-being but avoid preaching or lecturing. Instead, listen actively and allow them to express their thoughts and feelings without judgement.
3. Be Wary of Co-Dependent Behavior Patterns
Codependency is a common issue in relationships where one person struggles with addiction. It involves an unhealthy level of reliance on each other and can often enable destructive behavior. Boundaries that can help prevent codependency include:
- Refusing to lie or cover up for your loved one’s addictive behavior.
- Not taking on their responsibilities or making excuses for them.
- Setting aside time for yourself and your own needs.
Instead, encourage your loved one to take responsibility for their actions and seek help.
4. Let Your Loved One Face the Consequences of Their Actions
As much as you may want to protect your loved one from experiencing negative consequences due to their addiction, it’s important for them to learn from their mistakes. Letting them experience the natural consequences of their actions can be a powerful motivator for seeking help.
5. Avoid Arguing with Your Loved One When They’re Under the Influence
Trying to have a rational conversation with someone who is under the influence of drugs or alcohol can be frustrating and unproductive. Set a boundary for yourself that you won’t engage in arguments or discussions about their addiction when they’re intoxicated. Instead, wait until they are sober to have important conversations.
6. Release Any Guilt You’re Holding on To
It’s common for loved ones of those struggling with addiction to experience guilt and shame. Remember that you are not responsible for your loved one’s actions, and it’s not your fault if they struggle with the disease of addiction. Let go of any guilt you may be holding onto and focus on supporting your loved one in a healthy way.
7. Keep Up with Your Own Self-Care
It’s important to prioritize your own well-being when supporting someone with addiction. Make time for activities that bring you joy, surround yourself with a supportive community, and seek therapy or support groups if needed. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish—it’s necessary to continue supporting your loved one.
Contact Recovery Centers of America for Support
If you’re supporting someone on their recovery journey, setting boundaries is one of the best things you can do. If you need more support, RCA is here with family resources and support groups to help you navigate any challenges that come your way. Call 833.926.5486 to learn more about how we can help you and your loved one on the path to lasting recovery.
